Feb 28, 2012


1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. 
The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Love & Fear
"There are only two emotions. Love and Fear." I read this recently and had one of those aha moments. Maybe not 'Aha' as much as, "I KNOW!", because I often talk to people who are struggling about this very thing. I wish I could remember where I just saw it. The Bible talks about it, Eckhart Tolle talks about it, Dr. Dyer, Deepok etc. When I became very aware of my ego, I began to break it down. Now I look at the daily battles differently. Sometimes I forget and get caught up in the human drama and fear, but I usually sit back later and have another 'aha' moment, in retrospect, of course.

Let's start with some examples. A parent becomes enraged at their teenager for staying out after curfew and will sometimes yell at them. Why is the parent mad? Fear. They were worried. Now the teen is upset. Why? They fear that their parents don't love them anymore. Really, in my opinion, this is the cause of most of a kids anger, and/or sadness. The only 'God like' people in their lives often come across as judging them, angry, disappointed. Why is this upsetting? Because they feel unloved. They need their parents love and approval and it's hard to understand that we parents are reacting out of fear. Then they act out of fear. "Where there is Love, there can be no fear. Where there is fear, there can be no love." You say that's not true because when you are angered, or sad it's because of Love. It's not because of love, it's because of a fear that you are not loved. The fear creates other emotions that are Not love. In that moment of fear, there is not love. When you feel love, in that moment, there is no fear. 
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

Hm. I stumbled over that last line as I read it. "where there is knowledge, it will pass away." I don't know what the true interpretation of this is, but it reminded me that when you start to 'think' about things, that fear comes in. And we know where that will lead.....it will replace love in it's truest form. Thoughts.... That's a whole other subject/blog.  
Let's talk about gratitude. Are you truly grateful for each day and each experience in your life? It's probably safe to say no. When we don't get what we want, we become angry, sad, disappointed and the like. If someone else gets a promotion that you wanted, are you Truly excited for them, or do you become angry? Are you jealous? Are you sad? Probably so. And why is that? Because you are afraid. 
Afraid of what that says about You! Because someone said, in a round about way, that you weren't good enough. Maybe that leads to a fear of being fired. When that person was promoted, you should be lifting them up, not tearing them down and yourself in the process. There's no love in that. 

Someone else was chosen to be your good friend's best man (or bridesmaid). You become, again, sad, jealous, angry, disappointed. Maybe all of these things. Did your teacher just hand your paper back to you with a D, or F, when you were expecting an A? Did you get angry, upset, start blaming the teacher? Why? refer back to the promotion example and break it down. You fear how this defines You. But it Doesn't define you. Look at any situation in your life that does not cause you to feel love and start breaking it down. Then see where the fear lives. 
Does it live in your heart? No. The heart is all about love. Does it live in your soul? No. The soul is all about love. What's left? The ego, my friends. That part of us that struggles everyday to convince us that it is who we are. We are a parent, an employee, a brother, a sister, a homeowner, a clean person, a messy person, an Irishman, an African American, a Jew, a Christian. We are tall, short, ugly, pretty, fashionable, sloppy.....on and on and on. That's not WHO we are! That's who we Think we are. Who others think we are to help define Them. That's who we've labeled ourselves to be, or others have labeled us to be. We aren't what our home says we are, our bank accounts, our cars....our 'things'...We are Love at our core. Yet everyday we are surrounded by things and labels telling us we are something different. And everyday we become more attached to those labels and trying to maintain them. Why? Fear. Who would we be without them? Well, we would be Love and Love is scary too. Why? Because we believe that it can be taken away from us. Why don't people see that this is the one thing that can Never be taken away from us because it exists in our very core. Our soul. Our God. Our life.  When something causes you to feel an emotion outside of love and you are reacting internally, or externally, try and See that emotion. See that anger. Become a witness to it instead of a participant. When you become the witness, you are living in spirit. The Love is seeing the fear. Jesus said, "Do not fear, because I am always with you." He wants us to be with Him. To be in spirit, to be in Love. Have no fear....He knew what would happen if we replace love and faith with fear. We will fall. 

John 1:5 And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

This has always been my favorite verse. Witness the fear and see it dissolve. Shine light on it. Where there is light, there cannot be darkness. Where there is darkness there cannot be light. To be like Christ isn't just about walking the walk and talking the talk. It's about his essence. The essence of God, light and love. There's a spiritual power in this love. This power transcends the material world and the ego constantly trying to replace it. Psalm 27:1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; Of whom shall I be afraid?

How does Love replace fear? Read the Corinthians bible quote above. When we live our lives in love, there is no fear because nothing can take it from us. Where there is love there is no judgement, jealousy, pride, dishonoring of others, anger etc. There is just peace. IMAGINE what great things you can do for others, if you live in peace and not fear. IMAGINE the change that can take place All around you, when you live in Love and not fear. Your love. Your God. Always with you. You just need to identify with Them. Not fear.

Next time you witness a family member, co-worker, friend, acquaintance or stranger having a bad reaction to something, someone (maybe you), Witness their reaction. SEE (with love) what they are saying and doing. Start to break it down. Ask why they are so angry, upset, verbally abrasive etc...If you know them well, you may see Right into the root of it. Right into the root of their fear. It Will be there. You will be Amazed at how you feel now. Fear cannot live in the light.

There is only 
Love & Fear. 
Seek Love in the darkness and watch the light shine.

These are the things I've learned and need to keep focused on. 
I hope you do too.

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Feb 9, 2012


Private Practice Grey's Anatomy Crossover next week.
Tonight there was a lot of drug addiction and cancer battles. A mother with cancer not able to tell her son she will die, but was left given some hope. Her doctor, Amelia, wants her brother, Derick, from Grey's anatomy, to operate on her terminal brain tumor. Hence the 2 hour special next week with my other love, G.A. On the side a teenager brings in a baby saying it is hers. Come to find out that it's her mother's and mom is a drug addict who disappeared. Mom left them, checked into a hotel for a week and got clean on her own. This family struggle is emotional. Sam, a doctor, had a sister show up who is also a drug addict. A lot of attention to this topic. It's informative and brings out the real emotions for many who get taken along for the difficult ride, as well as the addicts painful ride. 

On a personal note, I know someone going through this right now, who is currently receiving help and getting clean, and I pray that he stays that way. I hear it takes a miracle. Praying for and expecting one now.

As always, here are some contact numbers if you, or someone you know, is in need. Don't wait! Call, or click, now!

Online sexual abuse hotline. Get help online!

Drug and alcohol addiction help. 
Call, email or enter your address for information.

And a list of mental health resources.

If you like trivia, please visit my trivia blog and engage!
or to read some of my poems you can visit 
Thank you for visiting!

Feb 8, 2012

PRIVATE PRACTICE - Offering awareness & helpline info.

Controversial Nighttime Drama anyone? A lot of people don't engage in these shows.  However, This show brings Life, Love, painful and controversial issues front and center! After many of their shows, a cast member has a clip telling you what number, or hotline, to call for help. What do they address? Just about everything. In keeping with their mission, I will list help sites, for many of the problems they address, at the end of this post. 

This was an episode on rape. They did an incredible job of letting you feel the Many things a victim feels, thinks and experiences. An unforgettable episode.

Then there's mental illness and the extreme that can become of it, along with where to draw the doctor/patient line. This woman cut the doctor's baby out of her. Extreme? Yes, but you see some signs of people capable of such a horrible thing.

There are All kinds of relationships going on. Inter-racial and a soon to be divorced Woman dating a MUCH younger man. You think these things are widely accepted these days? Think again. 

Then we have a member of the staff/family who's addicted to drugs. In one episode we see what an intervention is like. And this addict fell in love with a guy during a binge who dies in the process. Very powerful.

In a recent episode they dealt with rape in the service. (Oddly enough, I JUST saw a CNN article on that Very subject. It stated that 19,000 people are raped, in the service, each year.) These people are bringing awareness to some very serious issues. Some may not be that serious, but controversial. They make you think and they make you feel. THAT is a show. THOSE are fine actors. 

Kudos to the Private Practice team!

Online sexual abuse hotline. Get help online!

Drug and alcohol addiction help. 
Call, email or enter your address for information.

And a list of mental health resources.

Feel free to comment below. I don't believe you need an account to do so. Love to hear what others think!

If you like trivia, please visit my trivia blog and engage!
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If only my wit was produced at the same speed with which my fingers can Graze a keyboard! 
SOOOO many books....
SOOOO rich.....

Feb 3, 2012


Yum! Found this recipe on allrecipes.com. It's great! Recipe was for frying fish. It needed salt added to it for chicken. I've only fried chicken twice and the first time was a disaster, but a tasty one. This batter is thick and tasty. I first rolled the chicken in some flour (You can use an old bread bag, if you prefer, to shake it in). You can add to the flour if you like. Italian bread crumbs, spices etc. I did not though. Mix these ingredients and set chicken to soak in it for a while, after flouring. Fry away! My drum sticks were on the large side and 20 minutes seemed to be the perfect timing. 

Mix all ingredients then add the beer.
1 C flour (I used bread flour)
1 egg, beaten
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1 1/2 C beer.


Entitled ~ Belligerent ~ Disrespectful. 
Do you know this teenager?
I would be shocked if you didn't know one, or have one living in your own home. I don't know about you, but THIS is the teenager that 'I' ordered. Not sure what caused the mix up. :)
Many in my age group and culture would say that they would Never have done what the teens today will do, because they would have been backhanded by mom, or dad. True. Where I live, I see a lot of spoiled teenagers with bad attitudes. My own included. I have an 18 and 19 year old. I sit here wondering how I survived thus far, especially as a single parent. Dad is here in town, but he didn't go through the daily struggles I went through, nor does he understand them they way I do. He thought I should have had more control over them. He's right there, but it's not as easy these days. There are so many issues with raising kids and so many schools of thought on how to do it. They have full access to the information highway, and we did not. They see things that we did not. They are desensitized to much bad behavior because they see it everywhere. Does anyone really have the miracle cure? 
No. They don't. Then there's the embarrassment and judgement waiting All around you depending on which teen rearing policy you subscribe to. In today's society you don't dare raise a hand to your child because you can be thrown in jail and the kids know it! And they use it against you. Where do you turn? What power do you have when they have more time and access to the people and information forming their entitled attitude than we did growing up? How do you stay ahead of them? Where do you turn when they are using Their power and control over You? Yes, in some ways, they have more power than we did. "Touch me and I'll call the cops!" Well that goes Both ways! So many parents are using the local police to raise their kids....That's right. 
Your kid is out of control...? Call the Cops? Just remember that if you do this, and do it often, that they will Never trust you again. This is NOT the best way to go. I've seen that happen to families. Cops called regularly and the family breakdown is not pretty. There may be a time when it is wise, but don't use this as your first option. Back in the day, the best they had was, "Touch me and I'll call grandma." No big threat there because Grandma may just take a chunk out of their hide too! No. I'm not saying we Should beat our kids. I'm saying that Some kids would push the cart back then. Today it seems that Most kids push the cart and they push it a lot further now than we did. I used to meet with a unique group, which is sponsored by our county. The parents were in distress, crying and wanting to give up on their kid/s because the behaviors are draining the life out of them. 'I' was in this group....Some situations were causing them to lose their jobs. It's a good program based on love and limits. But they also like to get in the 'call the cops' game. Honestly, some of the best advice I ever got was from a book called 1, 2, 3 Magic. If you have young kids, get it, read it and Use it! Keep it in motion all the way through. I started using it when they were young and it worked great! I stopped, and shouldn't have.
My lessons learned. #1 When they go off on you screaming and yelling, the best thing you can do is disconnect yourself emotionally. Very hard at first, but very necessary. They know All your buttons and how to push them. Do Not engage. And this is not the time to be punishing them. Wait till all is calm, then dole it out calmly. If they learn that they can send you over the edge and bring you down to their age, you are at a huge disadvantage and they will do it a lot. 
In this picture, I imagine that the teenager is probably pushing Lots of buttons and it got the better of dad. Now He's acting HER age. How can she respect That? If they've been doing this and you've been engaging, you're in for a test of your will power. When you stop engaging, they are going to up the ante. They will push Much harder to get you to blow. Don't. Don't listen to their words. They are not their words. They are not these horrible actions. Don't take it personally. I know. Hard to do when your own flesh and blood is screaming and calling you horrible things. Trust me. This is lesson #2. And the other very important thing I learned is to remember that they are human. When I had my issues with this type of behavior, I often forgot to speak to my kid with respect. I became so obsessed with trying to figure out how to control them that I forgot they are not JUST an untamed animal who needs to be broken and ordered around. When things are calm, LOVE THEM. SHOW them respect. NEVER take away the love. This will only draw you further apart on the battlefield. When they are teens, do Not forget this. It Will make a difference, at some point. And one thing we were told in this group was not to ever take away any family outing, gathering etc. 
No Matter what they did, they should Always remain a part of family functions. If you want them to love you, respect you and be a positive role in the family, You have to Be that and give them the opportunities to be that whenever you can. How else can they model it? It is easy to stop doing this under tyrannical behavior, but don't. Don't Ever. Oh...And don't be embarrassed by your kids. You don't need That to deal with too. If people want to judge you instead of offering some help, then what they think does Not matter. And never underestimate the power of prayer and Believe in your kids. Believe they will be better. Don't project more negative behavior, because if that's what you focus on, you will subconsciously do things to bring out that Very behavior.

Love and Limits. 

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Feb 2, 2012


How many people in your life anger you, upset you and frustrate you? Do you think it's as simple as who's right and who's wrong? Take a Good look around because you chose them! How else would you be challenged to rise above your weaknesses? You chose your mother, your father, your sister, your brother, your acquaintance, your friend....How do I know this about you? Many reasons. Mostly my own experience. I have 2 children that I love with all my heart, but they Both make me want to pull my hair Right out of my head Often! One is so quick to say and yell the most horrible things you can think of and it's usually something personal about you. The other drives me nuts with his literal ways and sarcastic comments when he thinks I didn't listen to what he just said. I've always known that some of my biggest flaws are not listening well and being very impatient and reactive. Hmmm. What PERFECT children for me!! Then there's this lady at work who makes every fiber in my being stand on End when she speaks. That's right. She speaks and I want to jump out of my skin. Her southern, lazy words,  improper English and even tone drive me nuts! Think I'm crazy? A friend told me today that a coworkers walk drives her just as crazy. Then there's a coworker who makes us All want to jump over the table, wrap our hands around her neck and....well....you get the ugly picture.
 Ah, you say that We have issues? Maybe so. And maybe That's the point! Look around. Especially at your family. What about them drives You nuts? Are you sitting there thinking that you love them all and wouldn't think badly of them? I think not. Unless your name is Jesus Christ. If you take the focus off of them and look at your reaction to them and how it makes you feel, I guarantee you will find that the problem lies in some deep, but normal flaw of your own. When I'm put in a box with any of the people I mentioned above, my gloves often go on. 
 I react. Sometimes it's only internal, sometimes I spew out the demons in retaliation. It's usually not until After I've stepped out of the box that I begin to condemn myself for my reaction and see that "I" was the problem, not them. I'm not their judge, jury or God. Where Jesus is concerned, the most important thing is that we be like him. I Want to be more like him. Not like me. Not like the me that I find appalling. When I make the changes I need to make, others become inspired to do the same. I also don't give them the approval to behave the way they do by behaving the same way. Instead I give them the approval to be something better. And so it goes around the globe when we become more, others become more. And so goes the verse: 

Matthew 7:5

"Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye."

Then we will have peace

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Cubicles and Hallways: When you stride down a hallway anywhere, do you often encounter a near miss with a fellow human? Every single time I leave my cubical I feel the need to buy accidental death insurance.  I often wonder if I am the only one who applies the rules of the road to cubical mazes, hallways and all general public pathways. It Seems logical to me. But so many people just stagger around aimlessly, in a mad dash to their destination, with absolutely NO thought to how he, or she, should approach the maze they are on.  In fact, most people are on the WRONG side of the path!!! Period! 

Double doorways: What a pickle!! Almost every establishment, with double doors, only keeps one unlocked for entrance AND exit. How many times I’ve almost lost a limb in THIS situation...What if there was a fire? Or is that the point? Keep us forced to exit single file and calmly? Well, if there IS a fire, just Watch me climb over people’s heads, grabbing fists full of hair to get the hell out! That ends That theory. So please someone, explain this to me.

Elevators: I often forget this myself, but can people learn to Wait for others to unload BEFORE piling in? We have 2 floors here. If the door opens and people are on it, it’s a pretty safe bet they are getting off! Instead of BARRELING in, why not just wait a minute till they get off???
Automatic Door Entrance: I walked up to the doorway of a large chain grocery store one day, and was stopped dead in my tracks. I was headed for the door on the right when suddenly it swung open AT ME and people were coming OUT! I just stood there in bewilderment for a time. Yes, this had me stumped. I had trouble walking through the door ON THE LEFT! This went completely against what I’ve been doing my whole life. Did Europeans design this building? Did they have a liquid lunch during doorway design and say, “Hey guys, let’s really F*&% with these American’s, swing the doors European style!! (laughter) Cheers!”  And Are the entrances to buildings on the Left in Europe? I’ve never been there, but that Would make sense. Right….? Or left?

Answers please: Anyone with logical explanations to these important questions PLEASE feel free to fill me in. Otherwise, I just see a very slow take over on its way, and That is just not acceptable. After someone has explained this all to me logically, I will be glad to consider therapy, for my obsession with such crazy things. And just Maybe I won’t do my best to get a law passed about proper hall and doorway travel.

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