Feb 2, 2012


Cubicles and Hallways: When you stride down a hallway anywhere, do you often encounter a near miss with a fellow human? Every single time I leave my cubical I feel the need to buy accidental death insurance.  I often wonder if I am the only one who applies the rules of the road to cubical mazes, hallways and all general public pathways. It Seems logical to me. But so many people just stagger around aimlessly, in a mad dash to their destination, with absolutely NO thought to how he, or she, should approach the maze they are on.  In fact, most people are on the WRONG side of the path!!! Period! 

Double doorways: What a pickle!! Almost every establishment, with double doors, only keeps one unlocked for entrance AND exit. How many times I’ve almost lost a limb in THIS situation...What if there was a fire? Or is that the point? Keep us forced to exit single file and calmly? Well, if there IS a fire, just Watch me climb over people’s heads, grabbing fists full of hair to get the hell out! That ends That theory. So please someone, explain this to me.

Elevators: I often forget this myself, but can people learn to Wait for others to unload BEFORE piling in? We have 2 floors here. If the door opens and people are on it, it’s a pretty safe bet they are getting off! Instead of BARRELING in, why not just wait a minute till they get off???
Automatic Door Entrance: I walked up to the doorway of a large chain grocery store one day, and was stopped dead in my tracks. I was headed for the door on the right when suddenly it swung open AT ME and people were coming OUT! I just stood there in bewilderment for a time. Yes, this had me stumped. I had trouble walking through the door ON THE LEFT! This went completely against what I’ve been doing my whole life. Did Europeans design this building? Did they have a liquid lunch during doorway design and say, “Hey guys, let’s really F*&% with these American’s, swing the doors European style!! (laughter) Cheers!”  And Are the entrances to buildings on the Left in Europe? I’ve never been there, but that Would make sense. Right….? Or left?

Answers please: Anyone with logical explanations to these important questions PLEASE feel free to fill me in. Otherwise, I just see a very slow take over on its way, and That is just not acceptable. After someone has explained this all to me logically, I will be glad to consider therapy, for my obsession with such crazy things. And just Maybe I won’t do my best to get a law passed about proper hall and doorway travel.

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