Jan 26, 2012


I went through something that left me feeling terribly used, fooled and taken for a ride. All the while I had compromised my own moral beliefs. One day I realized something. It's always what we perceive. This person who left my life in such a cowardly and hurtful way still exists in me. I couldn't deny that, as much as I made up my mind to do so. Apparently my heart and soul had a different plan. I was at peace with my belief that I was used and I had moved on. Then one day, while driving down the road, he came up. Not just to mind, but to my soul. This feeling overwhelmed me. It was as if our souls were actually joined in some existence beyond the natural. I realized that what I thought we had was real. That it lives and breathes somewhere out there, and that it always will. It was as if we were still floating through the cosmos, as one. Everyone we touch will always exist within us, but I guess some have a more powerful place. It left me feeling very peaceful and even more able to move on. Then I found out that he interacted with a friend on the internet that Same night that I had this feeling. Neither of us had heard from him in weeks...months? Well, a long while. It freaked her out. Not me. That's kind of how it was with us. So I won't harbor ill feelings anymore, and I would be Very justified to do so. It doesn't matter what evil he did, or intended. In my world, it was worth it and it was real. That is all that matters. What I perceive. What we perceive. I want to perceive Peace, Love and acceptance for what is. Anything else, is just useless and leads to more insanity.

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  1. "Anything else, is just useless and leads to more insanity." - boy, is that true, K. It's really not hard at all to drive ourselves to insanity.

    So glad you're moving forward with peace and not all of the hurtful stuff :)

  2. Thank you Weslie. I got onto your blog to read. Then I decided to write about this. No real plan. When I wrote the last line, I really felt the impact of it. I ALSO, thought, "Leslie will probably appreciate this last line". lol. Thank you for reading. I am moving on. And I had to realize that moving on doesn't mean that I won't think of him often, or even have these deep flights of emotion overcome me from time to time. The real part of moving on is to accept each thought or feeling, when it occurs, and then move on to my next thought or feeling outside of him. What we resist persists is so very true. Since what he and I shared was so deep and powerful within me, I've had to learn how to deal with it. As always, acceptance for what is becomes the bridge to sanity. Fighting it in my heart and head really Does lead to more insanity within. Thank you for the note.