THE BOILING WATER TRAGEDY 2008

(This one is very old, but will show how my life goes. Klutz and all)Have you ever risen out of bed, with a feeling of unease? I did today. Up from bed, to the bathroom to brush my teeth, grab the dirty laundry, a book and phone. Struggle down the stairs half asleep. Turn on the pot to boil water for coffee. I like instant. No delayed gratification for this girl. I grab a mug from the rack. It falls over, my head snaps in that direction with shock as mugs crash into the sink with the soap container, and one hits the fish bowl. Well, Fluffy and I are awake now. Yes, I named my fish fluffy. If people can name their dog Cat and their cat Dog, I can name my fish Fluffy. Another mishap occurs immediately after which I can't even remember now, 20 minutes later, as age has attacked my brain, and held parts of my memory captive, so it seems.... Somewhere in the back of my brain is a nagging thought that this is not going to be a good day. The water is boiling. I pour it into the cup on the counter, and miss by an inch or so, as my eye sight is also being held captive by age. In what seems like slow motion, I barely see part of the water enter the cup, more falls to the counter top, and by some strange and evil force of motion, more flys through the air landing on my stomach. So much for going to the pool for a tan today. The shock of the pain causes me to  drop the pot on the counter and yell,"I hate my life!!". Seems like an appropriate reaction at the time. lol. I head for the Aloe plant, to soothe my pain, then go out back with my coffee (what little I had after loosing the boiling water to my stomach) sit with a smoke and a book. Suddenly I realize that I'm inappropriately dressed to be in my neighbors view should they step outside for some morning air. As I collect my smokes, book and coffee, I spill just enough coffee to attract a team of vicious ants. Why are there so many ants in Leesburg????

I come inside and almost spill the coffee all over the rug. I now have a welt on my stomach where the boiling water attacked me so intently. I grab a bag of ice, place in on the welt, and tuck it neatly under my inappropriate shirt. I pour some water in a cup to swoosh over the spilled coffee so that the ants won't call on their cousins for a picnic. Well, I toss the water, but there's not enough, and I miss most of the spilled coffee. "Ah hell"! Whatever...have a picnic on me.   That will be my good deed for the week. Feed the poor ants. Then I decide that I should just sit in a safe place, not holding anything of danger...hot coffee...lit cigarette...a book that, obviously, could attack me at any moment in some unimaginable and horrific way.....and DO NOTHING!! So I put everything down and sit at the computer. How dangerous could that be? Of course I kept losing my connection, then I couldn't log into myspace because apparently my fingers weren't listening properly to my brain when I instructed them to type in my user name and password 3 different times!!! "Type in the secret code"??! "Oh my word"!! With full, almost insane concentration, and saying it out loud, as if I were loosing my mind, I Finally get all the characters right. Ah, the world has fallen back into place. I feel better. :) 

BAM!!!! Some poor little bird, who I can only imagine felt my pain, and was rushing to my rescue, SLAMMED into my sliding glass door RIGHT NEXT TO ME!! I jump, say a quick prayer for the birdie, change my shorts, grab writing material and move out to the front of the house as it's obviously not safe for me to be sitting inside anywhere! Now I'm out of paper and must transfer this to my computer. As I contemplate walking back inside, I feel that I need Holy water to sprinkle around my obviously possesed home. It's worth a shot, I think, as flies are trying to attack me here on the front porch. Hmmm. Wasn't this a movie? I get to my computer, log into myspace with much ease and then suddenly it says, "We're sorry, but an error has occurred". Well, of course it did! lol!  I made it this far though, CONSTANTLY selecting all and copying what I've typed. If you are reading this then one good thing happened. Myspace held up while I typed the insanity of my morning in the haunted house. Funny ha ha or Funny....'You poor thing'........Laws of attraction are at work full force in the Harrison home today. Today I am thankful that my daughter can drive, as I obviously should not be operating any equipment today that could possibly kill me or anyone else. :)

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