Tis the season, fun and folly,making jokes about Aunt Molly.
Laughter, love and giving free, drunken stumbles upon the tree.
Cup in hand and spreading cheer, flying upon the nearest reindeer.
Apologizing to Uncle John, as he's the reindeer I rode upon.
Granny's teeth fell in the pot, a six pack down I say, "why not".
Sipping stew and full of folly, shooting Spitballs at Aunt Molly.
That'll teach her a thing or two, I say while sipping granny's stew.
Vultures gnawing on the wrapper, one more gift for the crapper.
Kissing under mistletoe, regretting it was Uncle Joe!
Sneaking out upon the roof, hoping to wrangle just one hoof.
There goes one! I reel 'em in. Holy crap it's Aunty Gin!
Off the roof into the snow, at least it wasn't Uncle Joe!
Change into my santa suit, damn I'm looking mighty cute.
Stumble down the stairs for fun, little kiddies on the run.
Wait little girl, I'm Santa Claus! daddy grips me with his paws.
Come on son, follow me, I have something you should see.
Boot in ass I'm flying high, reindeer soaring through the sky.
Hello Rudolph, hey there Donner, boy I thought I was a goner!
Well this was fun spreading cheer, can't wait to see you all next year.
But if I don't, it's just as well, cousin Karen's looking swell.