THE SEA, THE SOLACE

The sea is a place where I find much peace, love and great memories. Growing up, my dad mostly lived on, or near the beach. This was his favorite place. He was a Great artist and the sea was probably his fondest subject, in oils. When things were not going well at home with mom, dad would always rescue me. We would take long walks on the beach, where we had some of our best conversations. I wish I could remember some of them. So much is a blur to me now. He always said he was a lover, not a fighter. He required a peaceful existence. He tried to pass this way of life on to me, as much as he could. I had a little too much fire in me though, and still do, to some degree. :) He used to call me the kid with ants in her pants, always on the go. Not a lot has changed. Just try keeping me in one spot for any great length of time. The great thing about that relationship was that I could do no wrong in his eyes. That was probably the worst thing about it also. As I grew up, I could hardly understand why Any person, or man, would have issues with me. After all, I was perfect. Just ask my dad :) A friend of mine, from where dad lived, made a comment to me not too long ago, when I mentioned dad and I. He said, "Yeah, daddy's spoiled little girl". Hmmm. What could I say? He was right. He didn't spoil me at All with material things, but he did spoil me with unconditional love. How bad could that be? Yes, he did let me get my way a Lot also. Like the time my best friend and I snuck out in the middle of the night, hitched a ride to a bon fire on a beach Towns away, and then walked home. That was a beautiful sunrise that day. I think he shook his head, gave me a 2 line lecture and moved on. But he didn't see me often and I think he was trying to make up for the other part of my life, which he understood was very difficult. In the end, I wouldn't change a thing. The love and the memories are treasures that could never be replaced. Having someone love you That much is a wonderful thing.  There was one painting called Genesis. It was always my favorite and he had MANY offers on it. Oddly, it was the smallest one he ever painted, and possibly one of the most beautiful. A house on a hill, on a beach with the sun rising behind it.  I know he needed the money, but he never sold it. He passed when I was just 19 years old and it, along with many of his other paintings, have been in my possession ever since. I believe he is still out there, and every now and then he makes his presence known to me. It's been a long time since the last visit, and I hope for another one soon. I know it every time because the smell of his oil paints, flows by me briefly and is So powerful that it almost knocks me over and brings a tear to my eyes. The smell of oils and the sea give me a great sense of love and peace. I love you dad and always will.